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hey :) the name is amalina but im cool with mali.
or whatever nice.
im pretty laid-back.
im never serious.
haha well yea so get annoyed.
im a kid at heart, maybe a hippie too.
talk to me.
get to know me.
only then you can judge me.
:)
roar!
yesterdays
January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011

Jun 7, 2011
gbye

some things are better left unsaid.
i, hereby, am saying goodbye to this blog.
thanks for all who have been reading diligently :)
all the care and happiness in the world, cheers!

xo

May 24, 2011
ahora

yknow, ive made a vow that i'd be diligent enough to write.
oh well.
ive had this blog for almost 4years now and ive changed the url like, two or three times. hah.
just now, i was so excited to write but i really am not feeling well right now and every movement is kind of hurt :(
stay, please? :)

much love,
xo

Apr 28, 2011
wavering

a rocky journey that full of falls and stumbles
that most of the time, are surprises to me.
they need my solid answer.
i dont have that.
im always unknowing.
so for now,
i say no.
it breaks my heart, a little bit, i guess.
but somehow, i feel great. like a massive headache that's forever gone.
like ive gotten something out of my chest and off of my shoulder.
dear stanford,
inshallah.
maybe next time. maybe.
im happy with where i am right now.
the bright side is,
i kind of feel like it is the right decision because right now, im certain to go into health psychology and stanford doesnt have that. clinical, yes.
ive talked to a lecturer of mine and some great malaysian psychologists, they told me that some of the best health psychology departments are in the U.K.
should i do my graduate studies there?
well, the future is a blurry matter. i used to plan everything ahead and to be honest, i hate that haha
over the past few years, ive stopped planning. things do get out of control sometimes but ive found some kind of calmnesse in that.
ive been thinking about going into medical school again but of course if i opted for an M.D, i'd definitely go into psychiatry- which i dont think i'd ever do.
sometimes, i feel like quitting school and just continue working in this hectic, propagated journalism world. im having fun but it gets dull over time.
and sometimes, i feel like just taking out my saving and start a small business of a bakery or a car workshop.
haha i dont know.
oh well,
amalina, youre only 21 (coming into 22). lets just have fun doing what other 21-year-olds are doing. so amalina, stay focus and make the important people proud of you. which, in other words, hit the books and bust your ass studying!
jeez. i do need such motivation haha (btw, i know its creepy talking in a 3rd-person)

until next time,
xo

Apr 18, 2011
tumblr

check it outttt. finally! ehehe :P

maliomars.tumblr.com

Apr 17, 2011
the end

you wouldnt know how much it actually hurts.
you wouldnt know how does it really feel.
i guess,
everyone who's in love, is pretty much the same.

you hope,
you give in,
you just love.

if only you knew...
how much am i hurting.

thanks, though, for telling me that it's finally the time
to stop hoping and giving in and loving you.

thanks

Apr 14, 2011
i dont have much

i met up with ryan.
:) and it was all good and overwhelming in the same time.
he told me something. wow. ryan. hahaha
i never thought of him changing into such a new person. the person that i met just now, is not even close to who he was 5years back.
ive never met such good guy that's not selfish at all. you got me there, ryan.
thank you for telling me the truth :) inside, i love you. as a bud that i know i'll always have.
thank you for telling me the right thing to do, i really need that.
i can only hope, that i'll be making the right choice.
it's not that im scared of getting hurt again.
im scared if i'd look like a dumbass again- someone that would always be taken easily.
you see,
i dont have that much of a strength to endure all that anymore.

xo

Apr 12, 2011
para ti :) una persona especial,,

Si te pudiera contar tantas cosas que han pasado en mi vida, te darias cuenta que yo deje de escribir cartas hace mucho tiempo, no solo deje de escribir, sino que tambien deje de creer y de sentir, pero en este momento de mi vida apareciste y no se como ni porque fue pero me has hecho sentir cosas que hace mucho no sentia, al igual que tu, pienso que eres lo mas hermoso que me ha pasado y realmente agradezco el hecho de haberte visto nuevamente ya que surgio en mi algo maravilloso, como es el amor que siento por ti, tambien se que estamos lejos, pero realmente creo que la distancia ha ayudado a que crezca lo que siento por ti y lo mejor es que ahora te voy a tener cerca durante un mes, eso es lo mejor que me ha pasado, despues de haber compartido contigo esos 2 hermosos dias, no sabes las ganas que tengo de verte y tocarte, poder besar tus labios, acariciar tus mejillas y poder mirar esos hermosos ojos que inspiran tanta dulzura.

Te voy a estar esperando, y contare todos los dias hasta que te pueda tener junto a mi otra vez
Te quiero como no tienes idea.

p/s: no sieste quien pero por favor, escucha a tu corazon :)

xo

Mar 27, 2011
who am i, really?

i have this assignment, a 3500words essay,
in which basically i can just babble about myself. but, i really want to make this a meaningful assignment. a piece that speaks.
so, who am i?
what am i?
haha i dont know.
oh, well. here goes.

i dont like kids but im not a kid-hater.
i think old people sucks but i love them, they're adorable.
i hate animals but i still care for them. i once joined a 'save the tiger' campaign by wwf.
i hate being fat but im an ultimate foodie.
i dont do commitment but i go aww over weddings and sweet couples.
i can drink milk other than 2% and chocolate milk.
im good with money but once i splurge, i splurge well (or bad) :P
i dont really like getting all sweaty and dirty but i enjoy running and trekking the woods.
i love cars but i hate driving.
im not much of a gadget-crazy but i still drool over some latest techs.
i avoid oily food but i think cheese is alright.

haha at this point,
i feel that im pretty much a complicated person. lol :D

a lil help, anyone?

xo

Mar 17, 2011
lucky

for every time you weep over bad things that coming in your way,
for every time you go berserk whenever stress gets all over you,
stop.
just stop and take a deep breath. then, think.
perhaps, a while ago when youve been draining your tears because of the bad grade that you got or you cussed over your unfaithful partner,
somebody on the other side of the world is in a worse situation. a car crash, fell over, or death.
bad things happen all the time. the degree is sometimes infinite. and always, always remember that youre luckier than some people even though bad luck seems to strike you more than once, or twice. sometimes more.
let me share something.
hear me out.

salaam.
like other girls, i dream of the same thing.
i want to be happy. i want to love and have my very own sweet love story.
i want to get married and have cute kids. i want to cook and bake with my main man and my adorable kids. i want my own family photo for every occassion, all year around.
i want to travel the world with them.
i want to be referred to as 'mrs. xxx'.
i want to have such life.
but,
my whole life, ive never been that healthy. i was alright some time ago but as the years, the ups and downs passed,
ive developed this permanent health condition which disallowed me to be like a full-bloomed woman i ought to be.
i cant get pregnant.
there, i said it. knowing that, you couldnt really imagine how crushed am i.
i know, some (most) people say it's too early to predict this.
it is very true. Allah's miracles work in zillions ways.
but, whilst getting to that,
i somehow feel that im not as worthy as anybody else.
(plus, i havent found my mr. right yet hehe)
having to go to the hospital on weekly basis is very tiring.
extremely tiring.
aite, end.

the reason why im writing all that is,
to let you guys know that youre better in every way.
all those bad things that happen are mostly external, so,
they're workable, fixable.
:)
dont sweat.

p/s: im super bored.

from this comfy hospital bed,
xo

Mar 12, 2011
a love or alone?

once im in my bubble bath
i like to stir up more.
half the suds go in my eyes
and half go on the floor.
the fun is in the bubbles 'cause
they giggle on my skin,
and when i stick them on my face
they dangle from my chin.

and when i splash them hard enough
they pop and disappear,
and then my bath time's over 'cause
ive made the water clear.

:)
xo